Preventing Sexual Abuse: 10 Things Parents Can Do

As a parent, you can play a key role in helping prevent your children from being sexually abused. Even if you believe that your child is not at risk, or you are afraid it will scare them, or you feel anxiety about the topic yourself, it is important that you talk to your child.

You can not be with your child every moment of every day. But you can model open communication, encourage assertiveness and help them identify and connect with their feelings. Here are ten ways to do that:

1. Find and use sexual education resources. Books and other age-appropriate materials can pave the way for a healthy, friendly discussion.

2. Make sure your child has appropriate supervision. Be sure you know where your child is and with whom. And make sure it is the right amount of supervision for their age.

3. Teach the 3 W’s. Teach this until it becomes automatic. Your child should be able to tell you where they are going, who they will be with, and when they will be back.

4. Check out your child’s day care center and babysitters. Use references, drop in unannounced, and ask for references. Ask your child about their likes and dislikes.

5. Encourage your child to make their needs for privacy known. Accept that as children grow older, their need for privacy becomes greater.

6. Talk about different touches. Model behaviors by talking about your own feelings about touches: what you like and what you don’t like. Teach your values. Talk about things like TV shoes and nightmares.

7. Learn to listen and question. Say, “Show me,” or, “Tell me more.” Listen to your intuition and teach your child to listen to theirs. Teach them to pay attention to the :”early warning signs” if they don’t feel safe.

8. Talk about appropriate and inappropriate secrets. Show your kids how to tell the difference between secrets that are okay to keep and ones that are not.

9. Help your child create a “trusted friends” list. This should include adults outside the home, too: people who will listen to them if they are feeling unsafe or confused about something.

10. Encourage your child to be assertive. Tell them they have permission to say no and to make decisions about giving affection and receiving touches. Use “even if” questions to help them learn problem solving. For example, “What could someone do to feel safe , even if they come home from school, find the door locked, with no one home and no key?”